


Never To Submit Or Yield

by BettyHT



Series: Never Submit or Yield [1]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 11:56:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: It is a story of struggle and overcoming great difficulties and how and why Adam left the Ponderosa. The story is more about his reaction to what happened to him and a short story of his time away. There are reactions of Joe and Ben to Adam leaving and then returning as he finds that tragedy has occurred in his absence and there are new faces on the Ponderosa as well.





	Never To Submit Or Yield

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Never To Submit Or Yield

Chapter 1

"What are you doing here? If I had seen you here a year ago, I would have accepted you. If you had thought to come back, two years or three years ago, all would have been forgiven and you would have been welcomed back with open loving arms. But it's too late now. Just go back to wherever you've been."

A furious Joe stood with a man dressed in red and black behind him who was looking just as ferocious as Joe. Behind them were two young men, one with red hair. They glared and waited as Adam slowly stood from where he had been seated on a rock next to the gravestones. In shock, Adam had no eloquent words to give at this point. The discovery of Hoss' death had robbed him of any ability to speak with any confidence. He wanted to explain everything, but his brother's anger was all too apparent, and anything Adam had to share was not with these strangers accompanying his youngest brother. All he could think to say was the obvious and practical.

"I'll leave, but I'll take a room in town. Please tell Pa I'm in town if he wants to see me."

Turning his back on all of them, Adam limped to his horse and mounted up. Candy was the closest to him and saw the pink scars on his wrists and suspected that he might have an artificial leg or a severely damaged one by the way the pants leg looked as he mounted up. Joe stood his ground.

"You can just go to hell. Just go back to where you've been. You must have liked it better there than here."

Only Candy heard Adam's response clearly. The way it was delivered sent a chill through him and he knew he would never forget those words.

"I've been in hell, and I'm not going back. I'll die first."

As Adam rode back to Virginia City, he wept. Hoss was gone. He had lost his best friend. He wondered if he had lost the rest of his family too. In his mind were the memories of all those years of torment when the only thing that had kept him going was the hope that he would someday be back in the loving arms of his family. He used to dream of being in the big ranch house, of riding Sport over the meadows and hills of the Ponderosa, and of enjoying nights in town. Laying on the hard cot shivering with the two blankets he was allowed, he dreamed of sleeping in his warm soft bed in his room at home and of late night talks with his father or his brothers perhaps sipping a warm brandy or a cup of Hop Sing's coffee. Then he would awaken to find the shackles still on his wrists and the locked door and barred windows of the small office where he lived and from where he worked every single day from sunup to sundown unless the weather was so awful that work had to be suspended. On those bad weather days, he was left in isolation until it was time for him to work again. He would go out and mark trees and set a cutting schedule before going to the lumber mill with specifications for the cuts that were needed and then to the mines to see to installation. He worked and worked because they said they would kill him if he didn't, and he had every reason to believe they would do it too. Because he had decided he would do what he needed to do to survive, he worked and took orders because it was the only way to ensure that and the only way to someday go home.

Although Adam thought of his father and brothers and the pain that his departure must have caused, he didn't think they would blame him for being gone. He couldn't have done anything to avoid it, but still he felt guilt for the emotional toll his abrupt disappearance must have caused. For years, he longed to talk with his brother Hoss and explain what happened. He missed the joy his youngest brother had brought to living every day, and he missed his father and his sage advice. In that camp, he often wondered how men without good family memories like those he had managed to survive the torment of their forced labor, deprivation, and isolation.

Although Adam plotted and planned how to escape, he was never left by himself in the company of a work crew and always had an armed guard with him. Apparently the men in charge knew him well enough to know he would organize an escape effort if given the chance to do so. The work crews were housed in small cabins with no more than six or eight per cabin. Everyone had chains and shackles on their wrists. Those in charge thought that there was no way to work on an escape conspiracy although that didn't stop him from continually trying to think of a way to do it the entire time he was there. It took years, but he was eventually successful. The surprise of it was probably one of the reasons it succeeded.

Looking back, Adam knew he had gone to his own personal hell in a series of events that could not have been foreseen by anyone. He had wanted to travel. The urge had been eating at him for years, but whenever he brought it up with his father, there was an argument that would escalate until he left before he did irreparable harm to his relationship with his father. Usually, he went away hunting for a few days until he calmed down, and on occasion, he went to town and partook of pleasures there until his guilty conscience drove him home again. That last time, he had been in town drinking and playing some cards with the intention to see some lady although he didn't know who it was yet. Usually he didn't have any trouble finding a willing companion for some bedroom play as he had the reputation in town of a generous and thoughtful lover. Altogether, he guessed he had a couple of days before his father would send Hoss to get him if he didn't go home on his own. Once he blew off some steam, he would go home and be the dutiful son until his urge to travel made him try to talk to his father about it again before he stormed out of the house and repeated the cycle once more. But that last time, he had been feeling lightheaded and a bit nauseated even though he had only been drinking beer.

"Honey, you're looking a little peaked. How about if you walk outside in the fresh air with Suzy here a while, and you'll feel a whole lot better?"

"Suzy, you must have been reading my mind. A little 'walk' is exactly what I need."

Although Suzy wasn't one he had in mind, she was attractive and friendly enough. He thought spending some time with her would make him feel better so he had favored her with his best smile. After picking up his money, Adam had stood and the dizziness had almost made him sit back down, but Suzy pulled his arm around her shoulder and helped him walk outside.

"Suzy, I thought your place was in the other direction?"

"Now, honey, what we got to do can be done right up here in the alley."

"Oh, Suzy, you are a wild one. What little devilment do you have in mind?"

The last thing Adam remembered clearly was walking into the alley with Suzy. Then there had been blinding pain in his head. Men were talking, and he had heard Suzy's voice complaining that it wasn't enough. He heard a slap and a cry, and then he heard Suzy's angry voice fading as she apparently walked off and left him there. He heard men say things like 'That's the one we wanted' and "It doesn't matter who he is considering where he'll be going' and so on. None of it made any sense until he found himself in a timber and lumber operation somewhere near the American and Canadian border designing and overseeing the installation of square sets for a mine based on the timber available and what the lumber mill could do with his specifications. He had been shanghaied by white slavers. Drugged for the journey, he didn't have much of an idea where he was except it was far north of Nevada. It took him quite some time to recover fully from all the drugs they used on him and be able to tolerate food. It was another reason he was much thinner than he had been.

For the first year or two, Adam had hoped that his family would somehow find him, but eventually realized that he was as alone as he could be with no hope of rescue. He pledged to himself to stay alive until he could escape, and nothing that was done to him ever robbed him of that resolve. Always been stubborn to a fault, that became a strength for him in the camp. Those who ran the camp saw it in his eyes though and the way he looked around all the time. They were never able to break him, so they watched him and taunted him with their knowledge.

"Yup, family has up and forgotten all about you now. Your youngest brother is running the place it seems. They don't miss you at all."

Adam refused to be baited by any of their games and wouldn't give them the satisfaction of losing his temper. What was most depressing though was what they did to his family in his name.

"We send letters now and then from various places and we ask for money. The first couple of times they sent it probably hoping you would use it to come home. By now I guess they figured out it's all just a scam. No money any more."

At first, Adam would dream at night of wrapping his chain around that manager's neck and pulling tight until the man's face turned blue. But of course, he never had the chance to do anything of the sort. Whenever he tried to fight back, he got hit or sometimes beaten, and then he and the men got low rations. He had no control over anything and had learned that the only control he had was over himself. There was a woman in the camp, and she was passed from cabin to cabin to be used by the men. Once a week she was locked in the cabin with him, but he never touched her or at least not that way. Although he had physical needs and drives, he refused to hurt another person to satisfy himself. Eventually they became friends, and they would talk a lot on the night each week that she spent with him. She was Native American but did not even know her own tribe. The men in the camp called her Sally.

Sally had been kidnapped from her tribe when she was very young and had only vague memories of that time. She had been sold and resold so many times that she no longer knew how many places she had lived. She had expected to die in this camp until she met Adam. He realized that the only avenue of communication among all the captives was Sally because each crew was housed separately and worked as a team. The two of them spent months thinking of an escape plan and how to implement it. As they talked, Adam had tried words from various Indian languages. He knew quite a bit of Paiute and Bannock, as well as Newe and others. Based on her reactions, he told Sally that she was probably Newe or Shoshoni. If they were ever free of this place, he promised he would help her return to her tribe. Then he would go home.

Chapter 2

On the day after Adam and Ben had had their last big quarrel, breakfast had been very somber with that one chair empty again. Finally, as Ben and his two younger sons finished their meal and sipped their coffee, Ben indicated he wanted to talk with Hoss and Joe.

"I have been thinking a lot about what Adam said. I have always dismissed his request as foolish, and you know how angry that makes him. I am thinking that if I want him to stay, I have to tell him to leave for the one or two years he wants. I tell him he doesn't need to go, but what do I know of what he needs."

"Pa, how could Adam need to go. Everything he needs is right here, and he ought to stay here with his family."

"Joe, I understand how you feel, but I think I understand how Adam feels too. Boston wasn't enough for me either even though I had a job, a family, and a solid future. I wanted to head out here following a dream. I wasn't even sure where I would end up when I left, and it took many years to complete that journey and then build this dream. I'm sure many people didn't understand my leaving either especially because I meant to drag my baby boy with me."

"Joe, I think Pa's right. Ifn Adam gets a chance to see those things he's dreamed about and maybe do some things he wants to try doing, then he won't have no reason no more to leave the Ponderosa. Right now he feels caged here and wants to bust out. Ifn he was free to go, he might look at things a mite different, dontcha see?"

"Well, I just don't understand it, but if you think that's what has to be done, I guess I can accept that."

"I'm going into town this morning. I'm going to talk to Adam about traveling. He can start making plans, and then we'll have to plan how to handle things around here while he's gone."

For a short time, Hoss was as happy as he had been in a long time because he knew that this would work. Adam always had to work those things out of his system, and this would do it. But Ben of course did not find Adam in town. No one had seen him since the night before when he had left the saloon with Suzy. Ben woke Suzy, and she said Adam had left her in an alley near the saloon and that was the last she saw of him. Ben headed over to talk to Roy. After Ben explained his dilemma, Roy walked with Ben to the livery stable where Jesse told them that someone had come during the night and taken Sport. He had assumed it was Adam because there had been payment and a tip in the stall where Sport had been.

At first feeling betrayed, Ben felt his temper begin to rise and then realized Adam had no way of knowing that his father planned to make amends with him. Ben did wonder where Adam could have gone during the night. He had not taken any of his hunting gear and supplies for a trip. It was unlikely that he would ride to Carson City or Reno in the dark. So, the biggest question remained: where was he? After a fruitless search of any nearby locations he thought he might have gone, Ben rode home. As the days passed and there was no word from his oldest son, he began to worry and then to fear that Adam had simply had enough and left. That he would do so without at least letting his family know though was inexplicable. It just didn't seem to be the kind of thing that Adam would do, and certainly not remaining out of communication for so long. But there were no answers, only pain and heartache. Ben felt helpless. His emotional turmoil left him feeling torn. What he didn't know was so much more than what he did know, and none of that made any sense to him. As days turned into weeks and then months, Ben could only be angry and hurt and confused. He had to believe that Adam was out there and for some reason was not contacting his family. The alternative that he was no longer alive was too horrible for Ben to accept. So, he worried every day about what had become of his oldest son and wondered how he could be gone with no clues as to where he went. Living with heartache sapped his energy and his spirit. As a year passed, he began to refer to having two sons when meeting new people. He couldn't bear to continually revisit such a painful subject.

There had been a couple of short letters or notes purportedly from Adam asking for money to be wired so he could come home. Each time their hopes were raised before being dashed to the bottom again. They had wired money to the banks that had been identified, but there was no word from Adam. Apparently, they were being scammed by some con artists and refused to send any more money without a signature guarantee. That never came, so they sent no more money. The letters though had fueled speculation in town as to where Adam was so Ben alternately said 'back East studying', or 'Europe', and finally settled on 'Australia' because then no one would expect him to come back so there would eventually be no more questions badgering him about the most painful memory he had.

Joe and especially Hoss were upset to think that Ben could believe that Adam would just leave without saying goodbye. Joe had argued with Adam frequently and occasionally fought with him but admired and respected him as no other. He couldn't believe Adam was gone of his own free will. Hoss was even more sure that something must have happened to Adam in town. Without Ben's knowledge, Joe and Hoss hired detectives to try to find Adam. Shortly after they did that, Suzy was found dead of exposure. Apparently according to the doctor, she had had too much to drink, got disoriented on her way home, and fell probably going to sleep without realizing the danger she was in. Without Suzy to question, the investigators had almost nothing to go on. They did check all the places in Nevada and California that Hoss or Joe could think that Adam might have gone but found no one who had seen him. Adam's relatives in Boston were contacted but had not heard from him. If he had traveled by coach, railroad, or steamer, he had left no record. It was as if he had disappeared.

"Hoss, we just may have to admit it. Adam left and doesn't want to be found."

"Joe, I ain't never gonna believe that. Ifn, God forbid, we never find him, I will go to my grave believing something bad happened to our brother."

"Pa thinks he left."

"I don't believe that. Pa's upset with himself and he's worried and hurt. Guilt is eating at him 'cause he thinks maybe it's his fault. He gets mad at himself, and he ain't got nobody to take it out on except himself or Adam 'cause he ain't here. So, then he gets mad at Adam. Don't mean Pa really believes it. He's hurting real bad and missing Adam something fierce, plus he's feeling guilty, and probably feeling just as helpless as we are now that those detectives told us there ain't no point in investigating any more unless something happens to give us a clue."

"Well, they did find Sport had been sold in Placerville by someone who looked like Adam, and that person bought a stage ticket to Sacramento."

"Yeah, and I'll believe Adam sold Sport to a livery stable when pigs learn how to fly. He loved that ornery head-tossing horse. And nobody matching his description was on that stage according to the report we got when the detectives interviewed the other passengers and the driver."

"And we come back to the same thing: we got nothing."

"For now, yes. But I pray everyday that one day Adam is gonna come sauntering through the front door and give us all that funny little crooked grin he has. I can't bear to think of it no other way. Sport's back in our stable waiting for big brother to find his way home."

"I suppose we do have a few things. One, Adam wasn't on that stage, and he wasn't the one who sold Sport. Plus, it still bugs me that the one person who saw Adam late that night before he disappeared died. It seems an awful big coincidence, doesn't it?"

"See, now you're thinking the right way. Someday we're gonna figure this thing out."

Hoss threw his arm over Joe's shoulder, and they walked into the house. It wasn't the last time they had this conversation because Adam was never far from their thoughts. He was gone but not forgotten. As often as Joe could, he would ride Sport to keep him in good shape. The horse became even more cantankerous with Adam gone. He missed his master and wouldn't let anyone but Joe saddle him and ride him. Several times Hoss had seen them riding back in and for a moment thought it was Adam until he remembered. Then a tear would likely slide down his cheek to be wiped away quickly before anyone saw.

Chapter 3

After being in the white slave timber camp for just a week, Adam was frustrated with the demands being made on him while he was locked in an office and heavy shackles were on his wrists. The edges of the shackles were sharp in some places and rough in others. Unlike the other men who wore gloves, which protected their wrists while they worked, Adam's wrists were not protected. When he got the chance, he protested his treatment.

"I could get more done if you would take these shackles off."

"Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't ya? You'd be running off before the key was back in my pocket. We know you know your way around in the wilderness. We know all about you. It's what made you the choice of the people here. But we could never get someone like you to come here on your own. The money we paid for you is a lot less than wages we would have had to pay you too. The cost was a lot less doing it this way, but we aren't going to let you run off. Then the deal wouldn't be so good, now would it?"

"My wrists drip blood on the paper when I try to measure."

The camp manager grabbed Adam's hands then and pushed the shackles up his arms. There were many small lacerations and scrapes on both wrists as well as scabbing from where he had been bleeding. He stepped outside and told one of the men to bring in ankle shackles and some bandages. Then once the ankle shackles were attached, he removed the shackles from Adam's wrists and told him to wrap the bandages around his wrists. The manager handed the wrist shackles to the man and told him to file the edges round and smooth. Later that day, the improved wrist shackles were put on Adam again and the ankle shackles removed. It was too hard for the men to work on the site with ankle shackles because there were so many things on which to trip so wrist shackles were the usual method of restraint. At least the smoothed edges were less painful.

Later that day, Adam was brought to the mine where the first of his square sets were to be used. He was able to take more measurements and realized the men there too were forced labor. As he pushed deeper into the mine to inspect the shoring, he realized it was woefully inadequate. The rock in the mine was what would be called punky with lots of cracks already showing. A major cave-in could occur at any time. Adam could see why the owners wanted to put in the square set shoring. He wasn't interested in helping the owners increase their profits, but the safety of the wretches forced to work there was of interest to him. So, he began to work in earnest to see that the timber was cut and the lumber milled so that the square sets could be installed.

Time passed slowly when Adam wasn't working so even though it was hard to work ten or twelve hours a day every day, he had less time to mourn the loss of all he held dear. He looked through the barred window at the stars on clear nights and wondered if his family looked at the stars and thought of him too. Even though he was exhausted from his labor, he still had hours to think about things and worry too. Adam prayed every day that they would find him. He marked each day at the camp down by scratching a mark on the wooden wall. One day when the number reached seven hundred and fifty, he dropped his head and wanted to cry but the tears had all been shed. All he felt was an overwhelming sense of hopelessness as he realized he had to accept that he was not going to be found. It was the first time that he was almost ready to give in to despair. He was weak from lack of food and nutrition. He was as lonely as he could imagine being. If he did not get out regularly to breathe fresh air, see the sky, and feel the sun, he thought he would go mad. For the first time, he had to accept that he was going to have to rely only on himself and his abilities, and on his own, he somehow would have to find a way to escape. He was better off than many in that terrible camp though. The camp manager made sure that he survived because of his value to the operation.

Some died in the timber operation every month especially in the winter months when they should have called a halt to the logging when conditions became so dangerous especially when it became icy. But the owners were feeding and housing the men, so if they did no work, they were just an expense. Even the lower yields from working in the deep snow and icy conditions were better than no yields of course by their reckoning so they continued to force the men to work. It was that weather that almost freed Adam from the camp by taking his life. Early one morning, he had gone out to mark timber to be cut. With a map of the region to use, he was carefully marking trees under the close supervision of his armed guard. In the cutting crew were men who were exhausted and cold which interfered with their thinking or at least that is what Adam chose to believe. He knew they could have done it on purpose. They didn't know him. All they knew was that he marked trees, and then they had to cut and haul. On that fateful morning, he heard the tree coming long before he heard the call to get out of the way. It was nearly too late.

The timber crew cut the branches of the tree away so they could pull Adam and his guard out. Once they dug under the branches they found that the guard was dead, but Adam was pulled out although his left leg had been pierced by a broken branch. It was bleeding profusely and the muscle in his calf was badly damaged. They quickly wrapped cloth around the leg and carried him back to his office and laid him on the cot there. The manager unlocked his shackles and sent one of the men to get someone to see if they could save him because he was invaluable to the operation and would be extremely difficult and costly to replace. Sally was the only one willing and able to do something. She asked for bandages, boiling water, carbolic acid, laudanum, and towels. The next few days, Adam lived in physical torment as he suffered through a high fever and delirium. When he did near consciousness, the overwhelming pain drove him back under again. Day and night, Sally sat with him spooning water and broth into his mouth whenever she could get him to swallow.

After four days, it was apparent that barring a serious infection, Adam would live. He was weak from the pain, shock, blood loss, and lack of food. It took nearly a month before he was able to work again, and even that was on a limited basis at first. The camp manager made some allowances for his injury even when he was able to do more. He no longer went out marking trees. Instead, under the new system, he prepared a map and told one of the men what he wanted, and that man did the marking. Adam needed a crutch just to get around. Part of his left calf muscle had been removed because there was no way to stitch it all back together and the worst of the damaged flesh too had been cut away. Luckily, the main veins and arteries were intact. If they had been damaged, he would have lost his leg and possibly his life.

For nearly a month, Sally stayed with Adam seeing to his needs and nursing him back to health. Finally, it was Sally who suggested to the camp manager that there was no need to shackle Adam when he recovered because a man dependent on a crutch to walk was not going to run away into the wilderness. From that day forward, Adam no longer was shackled, but for a long time, his weakness kept him chained to the camp.

Chapter 4

That year of Adam's near fatal accident gradually moved into the next year and the next as Adam sank gradually into a deep melancholia. The first sign that he had reached a completely depressed state was when he didn't eat. He then refused to work sitting on his bunk and staring at the walls. Having lost all hope, he no longer believed he had a reason for living. The camp manager came in and gave him an ultimatum. They knew there was only one thing that was important to him any more.

"If you don't work, we'll tie Sally to a tree and beat her with a rod. If you don't eat your meals, we'll tie Sally to a tree and beat her. Anything we tell you to do, you do or Sally will get a beating. Are we clear on that?"

Looking up at the manager, Adam nodded. The manager told him to stand and handed his crutch to him. Adam took it and stood.

"Now get to that table and get to work. You've fallen behind and you better work hard to get caught up or you know what will happen."

Because Adam did know, he threw himself into his work and did everything he could to satisfy the camp managers. Sally became his reason for living. Sally worked with him every day and made sure he ate. She pushed Adam to exercise his damaged leg and to strengthen it. Even as he grew stronger, she told him to continue using the crutch so that they would not put him back in shackles. During those years, she bore two children because she was still being used by the men at night, but both babies died due to the harsh conditions. Sally looked one day at Adam and realized he was dying too just more slowly than her babies had. They had made plans for an escape before Adam was injured but hadn't talked about it since that time. She decided that had to change.

"It's time."

"Time for what?"

"Time to escape."

"Well now you have become crazier than me. Those plans we had didn't involve me running on part of a leg and using a crutch."

"They will never expect you to run. And you have only lost part of your calf muscle. The muscle in your calf is weaker than your other leg but strong enough if you keep exercising it. If we can find a way to unlock this door, we can leave and have a very long head start before they even know we're gone."

"It's nearly winter. We could get caught in a snowstorm."

"I think that's what we need. If there's snow, they'll give up. They won't chase us through the snow and risk their lives."

"If it snows, we could die out there. Heck we'll probably die out there regardless."

"Better to die free than continue to live here in this hell."

"Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven."

"What?"

"Milton said that. I had forgotten."

"Who's Milton?"

"All is not lost; th' unconquerable will,

And study of revenge, immortal hate,

And courage never to submit or yield."

"Do those words mean you agree that we should try?"

"Yes."

Adam said it quietly and without emotion. It was the sensible, logical thing to do. In many ways he had been feeling dead inside. So many emotions had betrayed him over the years that he had reacted by burying those feelings. Anger only brought hurt to him and to the other poor souls trapped here. Love and hope brought despair. A desire for revenge made him feel he was even more of a prisoner than the bars on his windows and the lock on the door. He had to forgive these men who abused him so that he could free himself from them. In the process of working through these emotional issues, he had become so calm and stoic he wondered if he could ever feel again. But he still had a desire to be free and an unwillingness to do another's bidding so those were the things that drove him now.

Adam began collecting bits of metal when he could. Slowly he fashioned a key. With Sally's help blocking the view, he would push it into the lock each day to see if it worked. Day after day, it did not until one day in November, they both heard a click. Adam quickly pulled the key and stepped back into his office quarters. Sally was free to roam the camp until darkness fell. She would unlock his door before she was summoned to one of the cabins. She would hand the key through a window outside to Adam when he was able to leave his office after dark, and he would unlock that cabin door. The plan was that she and Adam would run in one direction and the other men would leave in pairs in opposite directions. There weren't enough guards at the camp to follow all of them.

Their escape plan worked as expected. They ended up unlocking all the cabins because the men in the first cabin said it was only fair and increased the odds that some of them would make it to freedom. They pledged that whoever reached a settlement first would notify the authorities of what had been happening here and in the lumber mill and mine. Some of the men were recent arrivals and were stronger than those who had been there longer. Hopefully they would make it out to go back home to family and friends.

As Adam and Sally ran, he found that his damaged leg was stronger than he expected, but it was also extremely painful to run over the rough terrain. He had to stop often. So, he used all the tricks he had learned over many years growing up as a friend of Paiute youth. Creating false trails, traveling over rocks and shale as often as possible, and walking through the courses of several small streams made their trail extremely difficult to follow. They heard men in the distance crashing through the woods. Whether it was pursuers or fellow escapees they had no way of knowing. By late the next day, they had to stop. It was a risk, but they needed rest and food. Adam used his woodsman skills to set some snares. He checked out the stream and realized that there was a possibility of fish if the snares failed.

All they had carried with them had been the four blankets from their cots, and a small metal cup, and they had worn all the clothing they had. It was so cold they huddled together under an evergreen with the blankets wrapped around them to sleep. In the morning, there was a rabbit in one of the snares. Adam chipped some stones until he had some sharp edges and butchered the rabbit. He used wood to make a fire and stuck the rabbit on a hardwood stick over the flames. They found it hard to wait and actually pulled the cooked flesh away from the outside where it was cooked and then replaced the rabbit over the flames to cook more. Eventually they ate the whole thing except for the legs which Adam said they should put in their pockets for a lunch later. They drank from the stream and began moving south again.

After several days of this, Adam and Sally had developed a routine, but it failed them when a major snowstorm pushed down out of the Canadian Rockies. They ended up making a lean-to and huddling in it for two days as the snow piled up around them. The large snow banks actually may have saved their lives. Those large barriers blocked the wind and diminished the area heated by the tiny campfire. They kept the small fire burning eventually by dismantling most of their lean to and using the snow banks as walls to hold the little roof over their heads, and they stayed wrapped in the blankets. They filled their small tin cup with snow and set it by the fire. As the snow melted and then the water warmed, they would take turns drinking. Only one would sleep at a time so that they could keep the little fire going.

After two days of the storm, Adam awoke one morning to a sunny sky. Sally was happy and smiling.

"We made it. We're still alive."

"But now what? There are several feet of snow on the ground. Walking will be extremely difficult, and I haven't got a single idea on how we are going to get any food."

They spent most of that day just getting over the crest of the hill and down into the valley they found. They had water again because a small stream was flowing. Adam hoped that he could catch a fish because it was their only hope at this point. Hope was dwindling fast too. They had no weapons, and there was every chance that bears, wolves, and mountain lions were in these hills even if they had been lucky so far. Adam had Sally scoop out a snow cave in one of the large drifts of snow. He stripped off his pants and boots and stepped into the icy cold stream to try to catch a fish. He had seen shadows darting through a deep pool and meant to get some food if he could. It took him only ten minutes, but he couldn't feel his feet much by the time he finished. Sally helped him dry off using some rags she had brought for another purpose. She had a fire going, and she wrapped Adam in their blankets before she had him sit next to the fire. She gutted the fish and laid it next to the fire. There were limited amounts of wood lying around the stream: enough to keep a small fire burning but nothing large enough to use to hold the fish over the fire. She used a small stick to turn the fish occasionally. As the fat started to sizzle on the rock, she smiled at Adam. They were free and alive one more day.

"Where do we go?"

"Downstream. It's our only hope of finding some people who can help us. I just hope they're friendly because we have no way to defend ourselves."

"Adam, don't lose hope now. We've made it this far. No one would have thought we could."

"I didn't think we could, but we had to try. We won't give up. We'll keep going."

The temperatures warmed a bit, and the snow began to melt as they followed the stream. After several days, Adam and Sally were headed downstream when they found that they were moving downhill rather rapidly. There were many more large trees and less and less snow, which was fortuitous. They walked as far as they could before they made camp again. This time there were some trees nearby and Adam managed to get a long stick and used stones to sharpen the end so he could spear for fish. It was a much better method and got them several fish for dinner. They ate until they couldn't eat any more. Then Adam shook Sally up with his next comment.

"We need to move on. I know it's almost dark, but the fish entrails and the smell of cooking could draw bears. I want to be far enough away from here if that happens. It's time for us to think about sleeping in a tree too."

They found a grove of large trees about a half-mile further down. Adam helped Sally climb a tree and then she helped pull him up as he climbed. He used his belt to tie his arm to a branch. Sally sat in front of him on a large limb and leaned back into his embrace. He wrapped his legs around her and then they used all four blankets to wrap themselves against the cold. The night was mild for this far north, which was lucky again for them. In the morning, Adam clasped his hand over Sally's mouth as she began to stir. Startled she started to fight it until Adam whispered in her ear that there were bears less than one hundred yards away. She slowly looked as Adam turned her head. He told her to be quiet and perhaps the bears would not notice them. The grizzly meandered slowly up the stream with her cubs following behind. They all walked slowly and were probably headed toward a winter den.

Once Adam and Sally were sure the bears were well away, they climbed down from their safe perch. Adam stretched and tried to ease the strain his muscles had been under. Then Adam threaded his belt through his belt loops and tied two blankets over his shoulder as he had been doing each day. Sally secured her blankets the same way.

"Another day free and alive."

From behind them, the sound of horses emerging from the trees froze Adam and Sally in their tracks. They looked and it was a party of Native American men. Based on the facial tattoos and the dress, Adam was hoping they were Shoshoni or Newe.

"Sally, you spoke too soon, I'm afraid."

"Maybe not. They're young and they don't appear angry."

Adam addressed the group in English and the few words of Shoshoni that he knew. One of the men climbed down from his horse and walked over to them. He looked at Sally very closely. Adam pointed at her and said 'Newe' which caused the young man to gesture and call for someone from the group to come over to them. Another young man slid from his horse and walked over. After conversing with the first young man, he turned to Adam and Sally.

"I went mission school and know English. He say you say woman is Newe. How you know this?"

So Adam explained how he had come to that conclusion and what he knew of her history. The young man repeated the story or he assumed that was what he was doing as he addressed the rest of the group. Adam had not gone into details of how she had been abused, but he could tell the young men knew by the looks on their faces. It was probably not an unusual story for them to hear.

"We take you our home. It is reservation we left with not asking. We hunted. No one missed us with snowstorm. We need be back soon so families not punished for us be gone."

Sally rode with one man and Adam with another. After three days of riding and camping, they rode into a Newe camp. Some of the buildings were obviously constructed by whites and other homes were traditional Newe tipis. The young men were greeted with joy by the adults there, and the meat they brought with them elicited even more happiness. The young men explained who Adam and Sally were. Sally was greeted cordially by the women and walked away with them.

One of the men walked to Adam and asked if he wanted to go see the white men in charge, and he said that he did. The Indian agent was interested in his story but said that travel to Pocatello was treacherous at best so he ought to expect to stay in the camp for the time being. Adam had been anxious to tell his story and to head to Nevada but neither was going to happen until spring. He settled in for a long winter. There were a few books to read and there was time spent visiting Sally in the Newe camp. In spring as soon as travel was feasible, he said goodbye to Sally and headed out. Sally had gotten a name, Cloud Dancer, and was accepted in the group. It was clear that she was likely Newe by her close resemblance to many of the people there, and they saw it too. For the first time since she was a toddler, she had a home.

Adam was lonelier than he expected to be his first night traveling to Pocatello. He had been outfitted by the Newe and by the agent. He was comfortable but once again all alone. He was used to it but didn't like it. Once he reached Pocatello, the authorities were very interested in his story. Using maps, he did his best to indicate where he thought the white slave operation was. Men had gone inexplicably missing in this area for years, and now there was a strong suspicion they knew where they had ended up. Contacts with Canadian authorities revealed that they had long suspected such an operation as well. Two of the men who had fled had reached a Canadian community and information was being gathered. Adam was interviewed over and over again to glean every bit of information he had. When he mentioned Sally, it was clear the authorities knew about her and were going to be interviewing her as well.

Finally, after two weeks, Adam was given leave to travel to Nevada but was informed he might have to return if there were trials. The government of Nevada also wanted to talk with him because he had been taken from there, and they suspected some mining engineers and others may have been kidnapped the same time that he was. They told him that two of the federal investigators were traveling to Nevada to coordinate the investigation from there and would be contacting him once he arrived. He was told that he would have accommodations in Carson City.

Given funds for his journey, Adam found that traveling south to Nevada from Idaho was difficult. Most stages and all the rail lines tended to go on an east-west line. He had to make a lot of stopovers and switches before finally reaching Reno and making the last connection to Virginia City. He had no idea how things had changed although he suspected that much would have changed in the years he had been gone. When he had arrived in Pocatello, he had discovered he didn't even know what year it was. Somewhere in his melancholia state, he had lost track of time. Now he knew though that he had been gone over six years. He had to wonder what his family and friends had thought of his disappearance and the lack of communication over that time.

Chapter 5

Over six years after Adam left, he returned to Virginia City but was not recognized with his graying hair and beard and with his limp. His clothing was an odd mix of Newe and white. He walked to the Bucket of Blood and drank his first beer in over six years. Although he was anxious to get home, at the same time, he was nervous and apprehensive not knowing how he would be received. After he sat and listened to stories including many featuring Joe or his father, he decided he needed to face the greatest fear he had left and ride out to the Ponderosa. He rented a horse at the livery stable using some of the funds he had been given. On the way though, he lost some of his resolve and rode to the lake to find some solace at Marie's grave first. Instead of solace at Marie's grave, he found Hoss' grave next to Marie's. As he first saw Hoss' headstone, he staggered back and sat on a rock that had nearly tripped him up. He realized as he sat there that the day was the one-year anniversary of his brother's death. There was another gravestone there for an Alice Cartwright and baby. He had no knowledge of her. He was lost in grief when four riders came up.

"What are you doing here? If I had seen you here a year ago, I would have accepted you. If you had thought to come back, two years or three years ago, all would have been forgiven and you would have been welcomed back with open loving arms. But it's too late now. Just go back to wherever you've been."

Joe had dismounted and stood with his fists on his hips. A man dressed in red and black stood beside him looking just as ferocious as Joe. Behind them were two young men, one with red hair. They glared and waited as Adam slowly stood from where he had been seated. Adam had no eloquent words to give at this point. The shock of Hoss' death had robbed him of any ability to speak with any confidence. He wanted to explain, but his brother's anger was all too apparent, and anything Adam had to share was not with these strangers accompanying his brother. Despite his inner turmoil, Adam remained calm as he had learned to do over the past years. He would show no weakness.

"I'll leave, but I'll take a room in town. Please tell Pa I'm in town if he wants to see me."

Adam limped to his horse and mounted up. Candy was the closest to him and saw the scars on his wrists and suspected that he had an artificial leg or a severely damaged leg by the way the pants leg looked as he mounted up. Joe stood his ground.

"You can just go to hell. Just go back to where you've been. You must have liked it better there than here."

Only Candy was close enough to clearly hear Adam's response.

"I've been in hell and I'm not going back. I'll die first."

As Adam rode slowly away, Jamie found his voice. Jamie knew a lot about Adam because Hoss had talked about him whenever he could. Hoss had been sure that Adam would come home someday, and he had told Jamie that he would have known if Adam had died. Hoss said Adam was alive and would come back, and today Jamie had seen him for the first time.

"Was that Adam? Was that my oldest brother?"

"He's no brother of ours. He threw it all away when he ran out on us."

Unlike Jamie, Candy had known immediately that the man was Adam especially by Joe's reaction. Hoss had described him well including the voice. Joe was very angry at Adam. Candy had felt the same way at first because Adam had not come home even though Hoss hurt so badly not knowing where he was. Adam had not let them know where he was, and all the Cartwrights had suffered because of that uncertainty especially Ben. Candy had been prepared to hate the man but some things just weren't adding up for him.

"Joe, I was standing close to him when he mounted up. He's got thick scars on his wrists and there's something wrong with his left leg. I'm not sure it's still there."

"Candy, of course it's there, he walked to his horse and rode out of here."

"Joe, he said he wasn't going back to hell, he'd die first. Maybe you should find out his story."

"Candy, he had years to tell us his story. Nothing he says now can make up for the pain he caused."

"Are you absolutely certain of that? There may be more to it than you know."

"There's no excuse he can make for hurting my Pa like that."

"You're gonna tell your Pa, aren't you?"

"What? And get his hopes up so Adam can stomp all over his heart again? He's been gone over six years. He can stay gone. Don't say anything to my Pa."

Like usual though, as Joe's temper cooled and he thought about what Candy had said, his curiosity grew. His love for his oldest brother was buried deep but was still there. By early evening when he reached the main house with the three men, he turned to them and said he would tell his father in the next day or two, and probably the two of them would go into town and let Adam say his piece. But he asked if they would let him tell his father in his own time. He didn't want to shock him too much and was afraid the news itself could be too much even as it was especially on the anniversary of Hoss' death. Inside Joe found his father sitting behind his desk staring at the fireplace.

"Hoss gone forever. Adam lost. Your Alice gone too. My dream seems to be collapsing."

"Now, Pa, Hoss wouldn't want you talking like that. I might find another lady. And there's Jamie. He's young and looking pretty serious about that gal he's been seeing."

"It's just not the same though, is it? I dreamed of Adam raising a family here. I thought to see little blond blue-eyed children tagging along behind Hoss. And some curly headed little rascals from you."

Joe was thinking 'Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll tell him and see what he wants to do' when Hop Sing announced that dinner would be late. He had had some problems with the stove again. The flue just wasn't working properly, and no one had been able to adjust it properly.

"Now Adam would have had that fixed in a short time. That boy was a genius when it came to things like that. Joseph, I miss him so. I wish that he would come home. I wish there was some news of what happened to him."

Ben's melancholy though was more than Joe could take. If there was something he could do to ease his father's pain, he would have to do it regardless of how he felt about it.

"Pa, I have something to tell you, and it's gonna be a big shock to you. I want you to try to stay calm. We were riding up to see Hoss' grave this afternoon, and there was somebody there already."

"Well, who would be there? Those who care live here."

"Pa, it was Adam."

Ben stood, and then staggered and fell back in his chair. Joe rushed to his side. Ben looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

"Truth? This isn't some cruel hoax. You wouldn't do that to me. Adam is home. Well, where is he? I want to see him."

"Pa, I was angry. I told him to leave. He said he would take a room in town, and we could see him there if we wanted to."

"Then, let's get going. We could go now."

"Pa, it's late. It would be dark long before we got to town, and that wouldn't be safe. We would all be tired too. Tomorrow morning, first thing, I'll go to town with you."

"Joseph, you will not fight with him either. You will be respectful, and we will find out what happened. No matter what Adam says, I want that promise from you. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven."

"Of course, Pa. But I won't say that I will accept his answer only that I will give him the chance to tell us what happened and why."

"Now let's tell Jamie to come in for dinner, and we can tell him too."

"He knows. He was with me. Candy and Griff were there too."

"That must have been hard for Adam. For you to order him away and three strangers backing you up on what used to be his home."

For the first time, Joe looked back at the afternoon confrontation with his brother in an entirely different way. He realized that he would not have been that restrained if it had happened to him. He wondered what had happened to Adam's fire anyway. He had been so calm and quiet. He should have exploded when Joe talked to him that way. Suddenly Joe realized that Adam had probably not known Hoss was dead. He had most likely just realized it when Joe rode up to him. Now he felt badly about how he had acted, and he knew he should and would apologize tomorrow. He smiled and his father saw him.

"What's funny?"

"Adam's first day back, and I already have to say I'm sorry."

Ben slapped Joe on the shoulder and smiled. Finally, something seemed to be so right. How could anything go wrong?

Chapter 6

Well before dawn, Ben was up and dressed. He couldn't sleep. After he dressed, he went downstairs to find that Hop Sing was up and already had coffee brewing. Hop Sing had been excited the night before to find out that Adam was back but had wondered why he wasn't home. He gave Joe a particularly nasty looking scowl when Joe explained what had happened. Joe apologized to Hop Sing and said he would apologize to Adam the next day. It was the next day now, and Ben was anxious to get going.

When Ben was still sipping his first cup of coffee, Joe walked down the stairs carrying his boots. He looked sheepishly at his father. It wasn't often Joe got up early without being called so Ben knew he was excited too about going to see Adam. They ate a quick breakfast as soon as Hop Sing was ready to serve it. Then they headed out to the stable to find that Jamie and Candy had their horses saddled up and ready to go. Smiling broadly, Ben mounted up to ride to town. He felt younger than he had in years because it felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest and he could breathe freely again. The ride into town was invigorating. The air seemed cleaner than ever and the sky bluer. Once in town, they went to the International House and then a couple of other hotels. Adam wasn't at any of them. Joe started to get worried. It was possible that what he had feared most might be coming true. He didn't think his father could stand the disappointment if Adam had left.

"Ben, hey Ben. I figured I'd see ya soon. Now that Adam of yours done surprised the heck outta me yesterday. I seen this stranger riding in and he looked kinda familiar. He just pulled up like never you mind and said 'Hi Roy' jest like he'd bin out riding and not been gone all this time."

"Do you know where he is, Roy?"

"Well, yes'm, I do. He was met by these two men who was looking for him. They had come to my office wondering if I had seen him, and I said of course I hadn't cause he'd been gone from these parts over six years. But then I seen them walk right over ta him like they knew who he was right off. Then they all came to my office to explain."

"But where is he Roy?"

"Well, now, I was jest gettin to that. He said ifn you was to ride in here today, to let you know he was at this here address in Carson City. Said there was some official business he had to go do."

Roy handed a note to Joe who handed it over to his father.

"Roy, this is the address of the governor's mansion. Why would Adam be at the governor's mansion?"

"Well, seems there's an investigation going on into white slaving for the timber and mining operations in some places, and since Adam knows about that, well they wanted to talk to him as soon as they could."

"What does Adam know about white slavery?" Ben asked but Joe thought it because both were getting a bad feeling about this.

"Now, Ben, of course since they had him for over six years, he knows a lot about this kinda thing. Poor Suzy. She didn't know what she was getting herself in for, now did she?"

"Roy, what are you talking about?"

Roy looked surprised and then concerned.

"Maybe the two of you oughta come over to my office where we can discuss this. This isn't a topic we should we talking about too much in the street."

Ben and Joe led their horses and walked behind Roy as Jamie and Candy followed along behind. All of them were concerned but also mystified by what Roy had said so far. Once they got to the office, Roy asked if Ben wanted Jamie and Candy to know all the details of the case. He said they were family and had a right to know.

"Now, Roy, will you tell us what is going on?"

"I better start at the beginning. Adam was in the saloon that night years ago and apparently his drinks was drugged. Suzy led him out to some men who was waiting in the alley outside for him. They hit him over the head, drugged too, and she was paid off for what she done. Then he was taken with some other men up to a mining and timber/lumber operation in the Rockies on the Canadian border. It was straddling the border there. They wanted Adam 'cause of his work with shoring up mines and also experience with timber camps and lumber mills. He was there most of the last six years. He escaped last fall and made his way to an Indian reservation where he spent the winter. Then he went to Pocatello where he informed the authorities of what had happened to him and a number of other men. Our government has been working with the Canadian government, and they done arrested a lot of people up there. 'Cause Adam and some other men got kidnapped here, the governor wants an investigation into any white slave trade that might be happening here. Now we know it goes on with the Chinese workers but they don't trust us enough to tell us about it."

"You're telling me that my son was slave labor for some company for the last six years!"

"Most of that time, yeah. I'm surprised he didn't tell you about it."

Ben looked at Joe and shook his head. This was all so much to take in at once. It was shocking and gut wrenching. All the things they had thought over the years had never come close to this scenario.

"Hoss always said he believed something bad had happened to Adam. He was right. We hired detectives, and they never found any of this."

Now it was Ben's turn to be surprised again. He did not know his sons had hired detectives. He had talked about it at one point, and they had talked him out of it.

"Why didn't you want me to know you hired detectives? In fact, why didn't you want me to hire them?"

"By the time you talked about it, we had already done it, and they found nothing. With Suzy dead, there wasn't much to start with. We told them everything we thought might help and nothing."

"Well, I may be able to help the two of you with that part of the story. The investigators think that Suzy was part of the scheme to kidnap men here. She seemed to have quite a bit of money for a saloon gal when she died. The theory is that they drugged her and left her outside to die in the cold so the investigators couldn't talk to her."

"If they would do that kind of cold-blooded killing, is Adam in any danger?"

"Probably not. He can't identify anyone here 'cause he never saw a face. He heard some voices but after six years, it's not likely he'll come in contact with those people again. Probably be a good idea to keep him out there on the Ponderosa though once he gets back to town."

"We're not waiting for that. We're going to Carson City to see my son."

The ride to Carson City was a bit more stressful than the ride into Virginia City had been. But nevertheless, they were looking forward to seeing Adam now. So many questions had been answered, and Joe was actually looking forward to apologizing to Adam for what he had done the day before. They could grieve for Hoss together. He could tell Adam about Alice and all that had happened. Ben was looking forward to hugging his son and bringing him home. He would introduce him to Jamie. They would get all of his things out of storage where Hoss had lovingly packed them a few years before.

Once Ben and Joe reached Carson City, they immediately went to the governor's mansion and said they were looking for Adam Cartwright. In just a few minutes, they were escorted into a room in the mansion and asked to wait. Neither Ben nor Joe could sit. The wait stretched into two hours. They stalked around the room like tigers in a cage. Both of them ended up at the large window in the room staring out at the manicured garden.

"Not how I envisioned our reunion but here we are."

Ben and Joe spun around to see Adam standing in the doorway. He looked apprehensive and he was. He was no longer certain what his reception would be. He had dreamed of reaching the Ponderosa and being welcomed home, but yesterday's reception had made him wary. Finding that Hoss was gone hurt him deeply for Hoss had been the closest person in the world to him. He was still having trouble believing that he had lost him and would never hear that sweet voice and that laugh again. Just thinking about it brought tears to his eyes. He waited to see his father's reaction, and it was all that he had hoped for. Ben had an expression of joy on his face and walked swiftly to Adam and reached out his arms to hug his son. Adam allowed the hug but still held back a little. He had suffered so much, he was finding it difficult to trust anyone again.

"Son, my God, Adam. I have missed you so. I prayed you would return. Roy told us what happened to you. Well at least the short version. I love you son. I am so happy you are home."

As Ben hugged his son, he was shocked by how thin he was. He could feel his ribs. He also was amazed at his appearance with the beard, the gray streaks in his hair, and his mountain man style clothing with its mix of white and Native American items. Adam stayed in his father's arms though. He had not had a hug in over six years and although usually uncomfortable with such displays of affection, his needs overwhelmed his natural reticence.

"Is it still my home?" and Adam looked directly at Joe. Yesterday's reception had left him very wary of his younger brother.

"Of course it is! Adam, I am so sorry about yesterday. You know me and my temper. It got the best of me again. I can't think when I'm mad. This is your home, and I am so happy to see you back here."

"I guess there are some things then that never change."

Adam finally smiled that crooked smile of his, and Joe stepped forward to take his father's place and hug his brother. Soon there were tears from both brothers. Adam kept his arm around his brother's shoulder for a bit.

"I think I'm done here. I just have to wait a little to be sure. They'll let me know soon. They said we could all wait here, and they will bring in something to eat."

After Adam sat, Ben sat close to him and Joe on the other side.

"Tell me about Hoss."

Ben and Joe looked down. It was still painful after a year so they could imagine the torment that Adam was in. For him, it had just been yesterday.

"He was out checking the road and the bridge after some heavy rain. There was a mudslide and the stagecoach was on its side and being pushed toward the river. Hoss rode in as fast as he could and rescued three passengers. He tried to rescue the driver who was tangled in the reins, but as he got to him, the coach rolled and Hoss and the driver were pinned underneath the coach in the water. He drowned before anyone could do anything."

Adam held his hand over his mouth and closed his eyes as Joe told the story. Ben reached out a hand and put it on Adam's arm. When Joe finished, Adam dropped his head to his chest and sat that way for a time. Ben and Joe were quiet giving him a chance to grieve. Adam lifted his head and there were tears on his face.

"So there was nothing that anyone could do. And Hoss died a hero so others could live. I hope they make his sacrifice worthwhile. I hope they do good things with the lives he gave them."

Before more could be said, a servant came in with a tray of sandwiches and coffee. He asked if they needed anything else. Then he withdrew.

Adam looked at the coffee and sandwiches. He couldn't get used to food being in such abundance and there whenever you wanted it. Joe noted how thin he looked and with the look he gave the food, both he and Ben wondered how deprived he had been. Ben reached forward and poured a cup of coffee and handed it to Adam. Then he handed him a sandwich. Once Ben poured for himself and for Joe, and each of them grabbed a sandwich, Adam sipped his coffee and slowly ate his sandwich.

"Hey, Adam, if it doesn't bother you too much: what happened to your leg?"

"A tree fell on it."

"Is it still there?"

Adam looked at Joe wondering what he was getting at.

"Candy, the guy in the red shirt and black vest yesterday, he's our foreman. Well he said he thought maybe you had an artificial leg like a wooden leg or something."

"No it's there. It's just damaged."

"Do you have luggage like a bag or a valise or something we should get before we head home?"

"No, all I have, I'm wearing."

"Is the horse yours?"

"No, rented from Virginia City."

"We'll get him back there then once you get home."

"How is Sport?"

By their expressions, Adam knew the news wasn't good.

"He was so feisty after you left, nobody but me could ride him. One of the hands tried one day and Sport bucked so hard he ended up kicking the side of the corral really hard. He broke a bone in his leg. We had to put him down. Hoss said it would never heal."

"Maybe I should be asking what stayed the same. So much has changed."

"One thing hasn't changed at all, son. The Ponderosa is your home."

"That's really good to hear, Pa. I dreamed of that for years." Pausing then, Adam looked at his brother. "Joe, who were the men with you when I saw you yesterday?"

Both Ben and Joe suddenly got rather shocked expressions.

"Adam, there are a few other changes we should tell you and we're going to have to apologize to Jamie and Candy too because we forgot all about them waiting outside for us."

"You said Candy is the foreman. Who's Jamie?"

"It's a long story, but he's your new brother. Pa adopted him."

Turning toward Ben, Adam's eyes got big as he waited for confirmation. Ben nodded.

"Joe's right. It's a long story. We can talk about it on the ride home. We have lots of time now to talk."

Chapter 7

Ben, Joe, Adam, Jamie, and Candy arrived home on the Ponderosa as dusk fell. They had talked only a little on the ride back because Adam had wanted to enjoy the freedom and the familiar sights. Once they rode into the yard, Adam dismounted and they took care of all five horses in the stable. When he walked inside the house, he was expecting things to have changed. Remarkably, little had. The red leather chair, the faded blue velvet chair that had been 'his', the table in front of the fireplace with a bowl of apples, and the silly delicate settee that Marie had purchased were all still there. Occupying them now was another one of the men he had seen with Joe the day before. Ben introduced him to Griff with a brief rundown of how he came to be on the Ponderosa. Candy and Griff then excused themselves to leave the family to talk.

When the men left, Adam walked to the kitchen. He stood in the doorway until Hop Sing turned to look at him, and then quickly closed the space between them and gave a hug to the diminutive cook who had always been his friend. Hop Sing had watched him limp and asked what had happened to his leg and then demanded to see it. He poked and prodded a little and said that by the next day, he would have something to help. Adam returned to the great room where Ben, Joe, and Jamie were waiting.

"I guess there are a lot of questions you would like to ask, but I am really tired. I haven't been able to sleep much lately especially last night. Where do I sleep?"

"Hoss packed up all your stuff when I got here, and I have your old room. You can have that back if you want."

"Is anyone using Hoss' room? If not, I would like that one."

"We've just been using it as a guest bedroom so if you want it, it's yours. We'll get your things out of storage tomorrow morning. If there is anything you need, just ask. I'm sure we have it or we can get it. I would guess we don't need to pull out a nightshirt for you."

Adam smiled at that, and shook his head no. Then he said good night and headed up the stairs. The last two days had been exhausting. He hoped he would be able to sleep that night.

"He's so calm and serious. I know Hoss said he was the serious brother, but I thought he would be more fiery from what Hoss told me. I'm not sure I ever met someone so calm."

Ben and Joe filled Jamie in on what Adam had been through. None of them knew the details and with Adam, they knew they might never know. He had changed in some ways but was even more reticent than he had been before enduring these last six years of imprisonment. The next morning Adam was still in his bedroom at ten. Ben went to peek in the door to make sure he was all right. As he looked in, Adam opened his eyes and saw his father at the door.

"Some habits never die, I guess."

"A father gets to worry. That never ends."

Adam got up then and dressed. Jamie and Joe started hauling boxes and trunks out of the attic. They put all the items in Adam's room. He began emptying the contents into the dresser but didn't have enough shelf space for his books. Jamie went to his room and came back with a bookshelf saying he didn't need it. Then Ben came in carrying Elizabeth's music box and her picture and set them on the table next to the bed. There were pieces hanging on the walls that Hoss had carved and another carved wildlife scene that sat on the table. This bedroom had a nice window view of the yard and Adam stood there for a time looking out. He felt strangely out of place like he was floating in a dream with some things that were familiar and many that were not.

Hop Sing called them all to lunch with his usual complaints and threats. Adam had to chuckle at that. At least one thing was exactly as he remembered it. At lunch, they again noticed how slowly Adam ate as if every morsel was to be cherished. Everyone slowed down their pace because of it. After lunch, Hop Sing insisted that Adam go to his bedroom so Hop Sing could put a healing poultice on his leg. Adam acquiesced and had to admit an hour later that his leg did feel better. Hop Sing said they would do that two times per day until his leg was stronger. Adam walked outside where he saw Joe and Jamie standing with Ben at the corral. There were at least a dozen horses in there.

"Hey, Adam, we have a lot of nice horses right now. You can pick any one you want. The rest are going to be sold to the Army."

Adam walked to the corral and leaned on the fence looking over the horses there. There were large horses and strong horses, black, brown, and spotted horses. A few had socks or blazes. One horse stood to the side almost aloof from the rest. He had turned to look at the men when Adam arrived. Apparently not seeing a threat, he had once again turned his attention to the mares milling about in front of him. He threw his head back a few times and stomped to get their attention. Another horse walked over to the men and looked them over before turning and walking back to the other side of the corral. She ignored the stallion and walked sedately around the corral as if she was the only horse there unless there was a movement or a sound which caused her to watch briefly until she was sure there was no harm threatening her. She picked her head up and watched the stallion each time he made some noise as if she was evaluating him but apparently each time found nothing to concern her too much. The stallion pranced and stomped.

"I'll take her."

"Damn."

"Joseph, your language."

Jamie started laughing as Adam smiled. Joe explained that he had lost a bet with Jamie. He had been sure the dark stallion with the socks would be Adam's choice. Based on what Hoss had told him about his oldest brother, Jamie thought he would pick the smartest horse not the showiest one and had pointed out the same mare that Adam had chosen.

"Adam, I thought you would pick the horse that was the most like Sport?"

"I did. Sport was a handsome horse and spirited which I liked. But he was loyal and intelligent too. That big stallion is all about himself, and not particularly bright. He'll make some officer proud prancing around, but I want a horse I can rely on, a horse I can trust."

"What are you gonna name her?"

"Cloud Dancer. In honor of a good friend of mine. We went through a lot together."

"Hey, let's get her saddled up, and you two can start to get to know one another."

Adam whistled and Cloud Dancer trotted over. He pulled an apple from his jacket pocket and offered it to her. She sniffed, looked him over, and then gently took the apple from his hand and chomped it down. Adam walked to the gate and picked up a lead rope. He opened the gate and as Cloud Dancer approached, he hooked the lead rope to her halter. She walked out of the corral and he swung the gate closed behind her. She calmly followed him to the stable. Joe and Jamie were amazed. Ben wasn't.

"I remember the day he picked Sport out of the herd. He walked up to him much like he did with Cloud Dancer. It's like they were communicating without words then and now. He's got the right horse for him."

"Hey, Adam, want to take a ride?"

"Joe, I couldn't think of anything I would rather do."

Joe and Adam worked side-by-side saddling up their horses. The two brothers mounted up and headed out riding their horses through the pastures scattering cows as they went. Ben stood with his arm around Jamie's shoulders. He had hope again. The family had healed and would move forward again. He remembered one of Adam's favorite Milton quotes.

"All is not lost; th' unconquerable will,

And study of revenge, immortal hate,

And courage never to submit or yield."

"Pa, what is that from?"

"One of Adam's favorites. Milton. And it seems so appropriate now."


End file.
